Things on my mind... :)

"I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me in leading the Gentiles to obey God by what I have said and done - by the power of signs and miracles, through the power of the Spirit. So from Jerusalem all the way around to Illyricum, I have fully proclaimed the gospel of Christ" ~ Romans 15:18-19. 

Paul proclaimed the gospel, but accompanied His words with signs and miracles. There are numerous occasions in the scriptures where Jesus and Paul and other disciples perform miracles, and people believe the gospel that they had heard because of the signs that they had seen. In fact, most of the times the gospel is proclaimed in the gospels and Acts, miracles accompany it. It seems the Word teaches that "fully" proclaiming the gospel involves more than just words. I am a follower of Christ, and the Spirit of the living God dwells within me. I believe the Bible teaches that Jesus forfeited His divine powers when He became fully human. Every miracle He performed, He performed through the power of the Spirit. He sought God the Father in prayer before every decision He made. We all know Jesus spoke to God the Father, and I fully believe that the Father spoke right back to the Son. Jesus assumed full humanity here on earth. He promised that His followers would do even greater things than He did. Jesus raised the dead!!! His disciples raised the dead! I have the same Spirit dwelling within me that dwelt inside Jesus and His disciples. Do I believe what Jesus said is true? Heck yes!!! He said that if I pray for a sick person to be healed in His name and believe it will happen, then it will. He said I have the authority to cast out demons in His name(are only people in third world countries or people on the streets influenced by demons or have we, as Americans, been blinded by the enemy to the very real supernatural warfare that is waging all around us?). He said that when He gave me the gift of the Spirit, He gave me a spiritual tongue. Whoa! What?! I'm southern baptist... I'm scared of tongues. Umm... but I'm also reading the book of Acts where tongues accompanied and even proved that believers had been given the Spirit. So I am admitting, or rather, proclaiming, on the internet that my Lord gave me a gift for my birthday. I was praying loud on my way to Seattle the night before my birthday, and the Spirit prompted me to pray for things I hadn't really prayed for before.. with sincerity anyway. He prompted me to ask for the gift of tongues... and He told me to ask Jesus to give it to me for my birthday.. so I did. I went dancing that night and forgot about it. The next morning, I woke up early and spent time with the Lord. As I prayed, the Holy Spirit brought words to my mind that He gently pushed me to speak aloud. I was hesitant for a moment, but then experienced the sweetest peace and intimacy as I spoke words, not gibberish, that I did not know. The Holy Spirit overwhelmed me with His presence, and my heart cried out to Jesus. I knew some of what my heart was conveying, but not the words I was using. It was sincere and flowed, and I didn't want to stop. My spirit cried out to the Lord's Spirit and I felt the sweetest ecstasy in His presence. I did not try to do this or even think about it before it happened. I only remembered that I had asked the Lord for this gift as I was driving home. What a thoughtful, sweet God I serve. I have never wanted a tongue because I thought it was weird and uncomfortable, but God rocked me and gave me this sweet gift for my birthday. Wow! Feel free to ask me about it.. I know I'd have lots of questions if I was reading this about one of you. :) Anyway, all that to say I have been asking the Lord for an abundance of faith. If the Lord would have me heal or raise the dead or whatever, then that's what I want to do. Christians did miraculous things throughout the scripture. I am praying that the Holy Spirit would unleash his power and ignite believers' hearts with a passion to live extraordinary lives embracing the vast power and authority we have been given. I want people to be healed in the streets, and people raised from their coffins by the power of Jesus. I want people enslaved to addiction to be set free in a moment through the power of the resurrected Christ. I refuse to accept the status quo. Abortion will NOT always be with us! Young people in prostitution and addiction will NOT always be enslaved! How powerful do we believe the gospel is?! Jesus not only can, but will, set His people free in a moment. If we as believers don't believe it, how can a lost world ever hope to? And if we believe it, how can we not change our lives and our prayers and start praying crazy prayers of faith over the sick and lost and expect the power of God to fall??!!! Ok, so I could keep going, but I have to go now. The Lord is opening my eyes to truths I have always claimed to believe, but have never lived out. The Bible is exciting when read through unfiltered eyes. Thanks for reading my rants friends. Love, me. :)

I am overwhelmed!

"In my anguish I cried to the Lord and He answered by setting me free" ~ Psalm 118:5. I have been lavished! Some of you know what my life looked like a year ago. I have written about the lies I was living out of and the prayer I would cry out to the Lord in desperation, "God, don't give up on me... God, RESCUE ME!!!" My heart would scream these pleas out to my God who felt so distant. I was in a sin that was destroying me, and I could not break free. I have written some of the story in earlier posts... the punch-ling being that, without a bit of help from me, my Warrior King rescued me! His Spirit brought my heart to a place of brokenness and contrition and met me in my despair. He invaded the enemy's camp and claimed me back for Himself... but He did so much more than rescue me. He swept me away to Africa and loved me back to life. He romanced me with beauty and attention and intimacy. He pierced my muddy heart with His own sweet voice and dispelled the lies with His crazy-wonderful truth. He restored me and loved me and led me by the hand to Tacoma where He has continued this sweet love story. My Lord and Love has set me free! He has established my worth and identity in His own eyes, so that I need not look to anyone or anything else to fulfill me. He continually speaks in my ear, "I am enough." And He is! This is still a journey and a fight. I am still in the process of relinquishing control and trusting Jesus with my whole heart and present and future. I am still handing over to Him the past that I have held so tightly to my chest... but my sore fingers are relaxing their grip as He lifts my eyes to meet His gaze and I can't help but trust Him. This is a fight, but the King who has vanquished every enemy that would seek to destroy me and keep me from Him calls me His beloved. A glance of my eyes melts His heart... and I stand overwhelmed with the awe and honor of it. I praise the Lord from the depths of my soul... I cried out to Him in my anguish... I asked Him just to rescue me... HE ANSWERED BY SETTING ME FREE!!! And He hasn't stopped.. He continues to heap blessing upon blessing upon me... how can I stand under the weight of this joy! He has led me to some decisions about this upcoming year... I will keep you in suspense until I have some details worked out, but just know that He continues to be so faithful. I am excited and confident as I move into the next few months and have made some big decisions with relative ease and peace. More to come soon... so much to say about what the Lord has been teaching me here. :) 

It's been a while...

Well I am back in my favorite coffee shop in Tacoma enjoying a Roiboos latte and taking a break from orientation paperwork for my new travel RN position. I have been many places and many things have happened in my life since I last wrote to you. Here are the highlights... I spent a long 4th of July weekend at the beach in Florida with my oldest girl friends. We spent our days and nights catching up, relaxing, and doubling over in laughter. What a refreshing time! After Captiva, I came back to Alexandria, VA and continued to help Angela and Ryan prepare for baby. We had some memorable experiences with baby showers, nesting, and air conditioner failures in the 100 degree weather the night before Angela gave birth. Mom and I then had the privilege of helping Angela (in very small ways) as she endured her 24 hr labor. Her husband was the real hero of the night(well, besides Angela of course ;)) as he coached my sister with a lot of patience and without a wink of sleep. Labor is hard work! We were well-rewarded for our vigil as Elijah popped into the world, blond hair and all. What a beautiful child! I love him so much! It was such a joy to hold him and sing to him and pray and pray over him. I also experienced the "work" of having a baby firsthand. I had no idea! :) Three weeks after his birth, Angela and I flew to TN with Eli.. he was such a good little boy! I spent a week in TN visiting with friends and family. I was so happy to see my brother again, and it was lovely to pop into my "other life" for a while. I also got to scream in celebration with my beautiful friends, Alana and Hector, as they found out they are pregnant... such a blessing to be part of that! And now I am back in Tacoma. I'm just starting to work at a new hospital and praying for favor and opportunities to share Christ. I'm really praying that God would just instill a deep, supernatural love in me for those He wants me to connect with. My workplace has always been my natural ministry, and the Lord has been so faithful and kind in making it a joyful, easy thing for me to love the people and share Christ with them in ordinary conversation and acts of service. I went to my first day of orientation today, and, already, God is fulfilling my desires. I easily entered into conversation with the girl He divinely appointed to sit next to me, and I got to share parts of my testimony with her.. because she asked!!! She works on the floor I will be spending much of my time on, and I am looking forward to witnessing Christ's fervent pursuit of her. What a breath-taking thing to see! I think of Jesus' aggressive pursuit of some particular co-workers that I still hold very close to my heart, and I hope for them. There were times when the Spirit's work in their lives was almost tangibly evident... it makes me wonder if they will have any choice but to respond to Him or if they will have to answer to this passionate pursuer on judgment day.. I teeter on a doctrinal fence on that one. God is gracious in giving me such a burden for them. I have wondered about ministry outside of work. People have asked me where my passion lies... with what group of people. I have to answer that I don't know. I love the people I come across. I would love to jump into some ministry here in Tacoma, but I don't know where I would have something to offer. I'm asking God about it. :) I'm also asking God about my living situation. I'm staying in a friend's house until she gets married in two and half weeks, and then I'm moving to... :) I am confident God will simply place me where He wants me, so I'll let you know where I end up. So I guess that's all for now.. nothing too interesting. I miss my nephew.. it's good to be back in Tacoma.. and the Lord is still leading me on this wild, on-going adventure He began in January.. or really long before. love, me :)

Washington DC

So here I am all snuggled into bed in my sister's guest room. I've been here for a week, and I think I am just now settling into this new phase of my ever-changing life. A couple things have changed since my last post. For one thing, I'm not working while I'm here. I had a job all lined up, then I thought maybe I should ask the Lord if He even wanted me to work this summer. He said no, confirmed His Word through a friend, and also gave me peace about the decision (which was kind of a hard one to swallow as I enjoy working and feel lazy when I'm not). Now that I'm here, I see that my time with my sister is a treasure, and I would have been anxious away at work with my hugely pregnant sister at home about to pop. By the way, for those of you who haven't seen my facebook pictures, my big sister is BEAUTIFUL!!! She is due in a couple weeks, but we have been asking the Lord to make it earlier, and I just don't know how much bigger that baby boy can get! :) It has been such an unspeakable joy to be here with my sister and feel my little nephew kicking around in her belly. My sister is a lovely little pregnant person. She is joyful and sweet, and we have laughed until we both cried. I loved my time in Tacoma, and the people there welcomed me into their community with open arms, but there is just something about being around family, the people who have known me since there was a me, that reminds me who I am. I kinda feel like I'm letting out a deep breath. The first few days here were busy with going to work with Angela, touring the national mall with a friend from Tacoma, and throwing Angela's baby shower. Since then, Ang and I have concentrated on getting the house ready for Elijah. She is entering her nesting phase, which means she feels every nook and cranny of this house needs tending to. :) I'm glad I'm able to be here so my pregnant sister doesn't go into labor from pushing a vacuum around.. not that my brother-in-law would let that happen.. he's been a sweet husband to her, and it's so fun to see him with his mouth squished up against her belly asking his son to kick his nose. :) 

I went to Starbucks this afternoon and spent some time with the Lord while Angela was getting a massage (a gift from Ryan). :) I asked Him to meet me despite all the distraction bustling around me, and He did. I opened to Hosea 14, and He spoke to me of the idols that I run to, especially as I move from place to place. They are pretty, dead statues that I desperately fashion with my own hands because somewhere in me I don't believe my God. He says He is enough, and I say, "I know, but I made this just in case." My King tells my heart what my head knows.. that the sparkly idols I worship with my thoughts and strivings will fail me every time. His sure, strong voice speaks, "I am enough," and my tired hands fall limp at my side and rest in His. I wonder how long it will take me to learn that lesson... I think I'm learning it in parts. My God is a gentleman... He will not overwhelm me. He is my dad... He will not let me go astray.

It's late, so I'll go now. I'm leaving for Miami tomorrow to spend a few days on the beach with my girlfriends who I've known since 8th grade. They're like family, and I'm looking forward to laughing hard and catching up. Jesus, thank you for friends! Goodnight. :)~

Monday night

I am, once again, writing from work. I promise I actually work while I’m working, but sometimes I don’t. So I’ve decided to move back to Tacoma in August. Most anyone who would be reading this knows that by now, but I just thought I’d include that anyway. I feel just as confident and peaceful about this decision as I did when the Lord told me to move here Himself. My life is kind of unsettled right now, and sometimes I feel like my head is full of little doors with a little chelsea screaming behind each one (that probably sounds awful, but it’s a funny image for me). Little chelseas sit there worrying and wondering about the details of my life, and every now and then I have to knock on the doors and tell them to please quiet down. In two weeks, I’m moving out of my cute little house into another house which, I’m sure, will be just as cute. My sweet roommate is moving away to Africa, and I am finishing up my contract in Olympia. God has given me an earnest love for my co-workers, and I am sincerely sad to be leaving them.. I feel like I’m abandoning my ministry (but I know I’m being obedient). In three weeks, I will move to DC to be with Angela and start a new job I have not completely pinned down yet. Then I will be an aunt… hooray! In August, I will drive Ang and Eli to TN and hang there for a couple of weeks until I fly back to WA to start work on August 18. I have not, however, decided where I will be working yet. There are a few other big changes going on in my life, but these are the ones I feel like putting on the internet. So each little chelsea is wanting to make sure her particular concern is taken care of and settled, but I think the Lord is peeping His sweet head into each room asking the mini-mes, “Do you trust me?” And though every now and then, a stray little scamp lets out an anxious scream, my over-arching chelsea spirit looks back and remembers that God has come through every time and responds with a resounding yes. So that’s where I am right now. Oh, I also wanted to tell you that God has been particularly sweet to me lately in concerning Himself with the trivial desires of my heart. There have been many ways He has done this, one being that He sent me out dancing twice in one weekend. I serve a fun God! My mom also came to visit me this weekend and got to see this beautiful place where I live, experience Newsong, and meet some friends. It was good for my heart to see her and for her to see me here. Ok, that’s all…buh-bye. :)~

Sunday night.. or Monday morning

I'm sitting at work right.. it's usually quiet for 4 hours after midnight, barring any crazy, poopy, dying, attention-seeking, or just very sick patients. I'm writing for the third time today because I'm on the verge of making a decision I've been trying to make for months. Friday night, I went to my first baseball game with a friend. It was so fun! The weather was crisp, but clear, and the whole experience was new and exciting... even if the Mariner's did lose...pitifully (sorry Shane) :)~.

I wrote previously about how God told me very directly to come to Tacoma. I have been waiting on Him to tell me where to go next ever since I moved here. I am going to DC to be with my sister for the month of July to welcome Elijah James, my beautiful nephew, into the world. I have been believing that God would clearly tell me where He wants me to go in August. I think God totally spoke to me about this through a friend on Friday. A friend told me about his experience in which the Lord had told him to go overseas very clearly, but when he was trying to decide whether to come back, he didn't hear anything from God. Eventually, God just told him he needed to make a decision and have faith that He would bless it. My friend, by way of explanation, imagined that God had a sort of "faith checklist." He says, "what will chelsea do when I tell her to go? She goes.. check. Now what will she do when I don't tell her anything? Will she trust me?" This totally spoke to me as I realized my great fear has been that I will make the "wrong" decision. Some people have said it took great faith for me to come here on God's command.. honestly, it was really easy and didn't even feel like faith because God told me to go so clearly, so it wasn't scary or uncertain at all. It makes so much sense to me that God would seek to grow my faith by asking me to make my own choice and trusting that He will be with me in whatever decision I make and will not let me stray from His will since I am earnestly seeking to obey Him. God gave me a brain and His Spirit which gives me wisdom, so I can make this decision. It pleases the Lord for me to inquire after His will, but after asking Him about it this weekend, I believe my step of obedience will come in weighing my options, making a decision, and trusting the Lord in His silence. I think I have decided what to do in August, and I feel peaceful about it... which I think is a way God confirms His will.. but I am still waiting to work out the particulars, so I won't tell you what I'm thinking just yet. I was absolutely set on God doing one thing, and He graciously let me know that He's doing another.. even in His silence, He speaks. :) Ok.. so I think that's enough for a while.. thanks for caring about what's going on with me and for reading this so I don't have to tell the same story over and over again. Love, me. :)

My week...

Last Friday night, a team from the International House of Prayer (IHOP) came to Newsong and led a two-day conference. Worship was incredible, and the Holy Spirit's presence was undeniable as the packed-out sanctuary entered the Lord's throne room and sang to Jesus. Okay, so this might sound cheesy, but you're my friend, so I'll be vulnerable. Sometimes when I worship and the Spirit quiets every distraction and fills my heart and focuses my eyes solely on Jesus, I feel like I'm worshipping with the saints. I see this picture of the Lord on His throne, and I am surrounded by the multitudes of believers in Heaven worshipping our King. And though I only feel like this when my focus is solely on Christ, it is in these times when I feel closest to dad. Anyway, one of the speakers spoke on the Song of Songs. I have never studied this book, and I have only read it a few times and not in years. She spoke of the bride as the church and the believer and the lover as Christ. The story tells of the bride's journey from immature love that is self-focused to a mature love that focuses on her lover. Christ calls His bride beautiful and says that He can hardly stand her gaze because it so overwhelms Him. Christ's heart is moved deeply and passionately by His beloved's voice, her gaze, and even her immature love. The Lord pierced my heart! The heart of Christ is passionately moved by my weak love! The Jesus that I nailed to the cross hushes all of Heaven and leans in when I pray just waiting to hear what His beloved will ask because He longs to grant my request. My Lord's heart melts when I turn my ever-roaming eyes towards Him. He calls me His sister and His bride. He knows all that I am.. all the darkness and falseness and infidelity that lurks within my heart... and He loves me to death! I wrote earlier that I thought the Lord brought me here to teach me about who I am and my worth.... I now know He brought me here to continue this great lesson about His overwhelming love for me.. and my identity and worth flows naturally from this truth that digs down deep into my heart and spreads out into every dark space. Before Africa, God said, "She must know how deeply and desperately I love her." My Jesus is revealing His love by layers.. I wonder if He only takes me by steps so as not to overwhelm my weak heart. I love my sweet God, but the breathless, crazy, too wonderful for words truth is that my God loves me! Read and study Song of Songs... and if you dare, simply ask Jesus, "Do you love me?" He will answer you! :) K... going to work... love you friends and family!

A Sunday in May

So it's Sunday afternoon, and I am enjoying some daylight before shutting myself up in a hospital just in time to miss the sunset. I do, however, usually find some excuse to tend to a patient on the west side of the unit just at sunrise. The rooms have large, clear windows looking out onto a veritable forest of evergreens in the parking lot. As the sun peeks over the tree-line, a chain of mountains becomes visible in the distance... the view is breath-taking! This glorious picture of the Lord's handiwork has encouraged me after several hard nights, and seldom fails to bring a smile to my poor patients. Thursday night before last, the Lord blessed me with a spontaneous and magnificent view of His sunrise. A fellow night nurse from Newsong called me up at 10pm and invited me to make the 3 hour drive to Mt. St. Helen with her to spend the night and watch the sunrise. What a wonderful surprise! It reminded me of some nights at FSU when we would randomly decide to go spend the night at St. Augustine beach... good memories. My friend and I drove up and up until the snow encroached so on the road that we could drive no farther. In the dark, we could only make out shadows of the trees partially buried in the glowing white snow. We talked and huddled under our blankets and watched as the stars shone just enough light so that we could make out the towering volcano in front of us. As the sun rose, the mountain came into full view. The horizon in all its brilliant colors reflected against the snow-white mountain with its hollowed-out center where the volcano blew its top off in the 80's. We watched the pink glow upon the white on the silent mountain, and we were awed and still. Driving down the mountain, we saw elk amidst trees of every hue of green and heard their clumsy song.  What a glorious experience.. the Lord knows my heart and how to make it happy. :)

Erika and I in Seattle
Brynna, Erika, and I after church in Tacoma
The University of Washington campus in Seattle
Posing in front of the Seattle gum wall with a honey stick in my mouth. :)

The Tacoma Waterfront
The bridge to the glass museum
The glass display on the bridge
Melisa, Brynna, and I the first day I arrived to Tacoma
Seattle!

Sunday

It's Sunday night, and I'm back in the same cozy little coffee shop I was in the last time I wrote... I am sitting in the same chair, and even the dreary sky is raining down the same weather, but I do not feel the same. Alright, so what do I feel like telling you about tonight? I've had a strange week... but I think I'll start with something that happened two weeks ago. So you know that the Lord brought me to Tacoma. I don't remember if I have told you why I think that is yet. In Capetown, He revealed and destroyed lies I had been believing about myself, and He started to speak to me about who I was in Him. I think He has brought me here to continue that conversation and lead me to live in the fullness of who I am. Does that make any sense? The Lord has given this community at Newsong a passionate ministry for helping people to discover and live in who God made them to be... how He originally designed them before sin or this dark world influenced them to be something different. One way they help people to walk into who they were originally created to be is by simply asking God to tell them how He created the person. Now this part may sound weird (or maybe all of it does, but bear with me)... when they pray and ask God questions, He answers them. Now I have heard God speak to me at different times throughout my life, and really on a daily basis while I was in Capetown, but I have never asked God to speak to me about someone else. If you've read my previous posts, you know that God gave Elizabeth Clack a message to give to me that eventually led me on a journey to Africa and Tacoma, so you wouldn't think I would be surprised by God speaking through other people, but I was. I am taking a class at church on the freedom and authority we have in Christ. During one class, prayer teams came in and prayed for each of us individually. A husband and wife I had never met sat down with me and asked God to speak about who He made me to be. They asked, "Lord, how many things do you want to tell us about Chelsea tonight?" They heard Him say five. then they asked, "what is the first thing." He spoke, and they told me what they heard. They listed five different ways the Lord has uniquely created me. It was kind of mind blowing. I had never met these people before, and they were speaking things about my heart that were true and deeply personal. The Lord confirmed that He was speaking through them in my spirit, and what He said was healing and so sweetly personal. Are you freaked out yet? :) If you have questions, I would love to dialogue with you about this and fill you in on the details, but for now let me just say that the Lord is good and is teaching me a lot here. 

This week had been rough because I have been physically and spiritually tired. Last Sunday or Monday night, I had a busy, stressful night at work. I sat down for a moment to hide in the Word and bring my weary heart before my Lord, but as soon as I opened my Bible, a coworker approached me and proceeded to aggressively mock the gospel.. actually laughing at the idea that someone would be stupid enough to believe such a thing. He didn't mean to personally offend me... he likes me and even apologized for offending me later on, but I don't know that I have ever experienced that before in all my spiritual conversations with non-believers... a very public, scornful, mocking of the gospel. It hurt my heart for him, and it hurt to hear my savior slandered. My heart was just heavy with it for a few days until my mom pointed out that was a form of persecution. However mild it may be in comparison with the horrors believers suffer worldwide, it is still an honor to suffer in any small way for the sake of the gospel, and I wonder how the Lord will use my friend's vehement denial of the gospel for His own glory. Anyway, if you think about it, you can pray with me for my lost friend. The Word says that the gospel is foolishness to those to whom the Lord has not revealed the truth. I find frustration, but mostly comfort in the fact that my words and arguments are powerless to convince anyone of spiritual truth. I find myself utterly dependent on my Father once again. :)

Oh, I also went to the chiropractor and found out that my left leg is longer than my right and my hips and shoulders are all messed up... so either he'll fix me or I'm going to start walking in circles soon... I'll keep you updated on that. ;) I miss you friends and family... I'll write more later.

thoughts on a rainy day...

It is a Friday afternoon, and I am sitting in a coffee shop in Tacoma watching a dreary day rain down its misty drops from the comfort of a cozy armchair. Rainy days were made for reading and writing, and so I have given this day to these pursuits. It has been several days since I have really gotten into the Word, and I have felt the loss of it. I speak of spiritual matters daily and even go to Bible studies and spend some time in prayer, but I find my heart grows cold when I neglect the Word and prayer that is led and impassioned by the reading of the Word. I feel the Spirit of God renewing me today. My mind is filled with thoughts and questions and revelations that I want to write. I have found writing is my release. My journal has listened well to my ramblings, but I find that its private pages cannot always contain what pours out of my heart and head. The Lord has been so good to me. As I look back at my life, I see His presence in nooks and crannies I hadn't even thought to search for Him. In the past months, the Lord has stirred my heart to cry out for humility, joy, spiritual power, and deep intimacy with Him. God held me so close in Capetown. He spoke to me and walked with me in such an intimate way, and I have earnestly prayed that He would continue that throughout my life. Many have told me to cherish that time because it is rare that God speaks so clearly and walks so closely in one's life, but I deny that. I claim that my Lord desires to walk closely with me and speak clearly in my heart and mind every moment of my life, and, in His power, I will pursue that intimacy as a lifestyle rather than a unique occurrence. My good Father has turned my mind to my childhood where I used to walk in the gardens of Capetown with Him. I would hold out my hand and know that I was walking with the Lord in our garden, and He has spoken to my heart that He was there with me in my youth. I think of Hosea.. the words with which God began this sweet journey... "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her... And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt" Hosea 2:14-15. He brought me to the physical place where I enjoyed such intimacy with Him, and He again restored that intimate relationship that I felt so separated from for a time. As I write now, I feel almost overwhelmed by the spirit. I feel Him melting my heart and I rejoice. In Capetown, God brought me to such a place of contrition and brokenness before Him. I think it must have been what is meant by poverty of spirit. I believe this intimacy with Him came out of the humility of being made aware of my desperate, desperate, desperate need of Him. I have asked the Lord, how can I live in that state? How can I live in joy if I am to live in brokenness? So far, He has answered me that I do not need to pursue joy for it is simply a natural by-product of intimacy with Him. I think that is why He is filling me with His presence this moment.. to impress upon me that this unspeakable joy I feel now is a direct result of Him drawing me close into His presence. I am still working out what it looks like to live a life of contrition. What does it look like to live poor in spirit..for I think this is the means to a lifestyle of intimacy with the Father? 

Since being in Tacoma, and actually before moving here, God has been opening my eyes to so many things and teaching me and dialoguing with me. We have laughed together over my silly, prideful way of thinking. As I am presented with uncomfortable spiritual truths here, I say to God, I must test this and make sure that my theology does not err. God affirms that I must test all that I learn against the scriptures, but He also chuckles and says, "daughter, you will believe and accept what I tell you is true, then it is good and right for you to search out the truth of it in my Word." Many times, He teaches me directly through His Word first, but sometimes He has just said, "this is true and of my spirit... believe, and I will prove it to you." He has gently shown me how much I rely on my own mind to filter truth. It is true that God has given me a mind to reason with and a discerning spirit by which to recognize His truth, but it is also true that my preconceptions would seek to deny what God clearly tells me is His truth. Don't worry, I am earnestly seeking the scriptures, and the things I am speaking of are in no way contradictory to the gospel, rather they are just uncomfortable for me... things such as worship styles, praying with spiritual authority, sermon styles, and praying for healing, etc. God is just in the process of knocking down some of my abundant intellectual pride. Thank goodness! :) 

There is so much more on my mind to write, but it's time for me to go, and I feel bad for you having to read my ramblings for so long. Know that the Lord is blessing me with friendships and revelations of truth about myself and His kingdom on this earth. He is knitting me into this community and revealing His purposes for bringing me here... one being to show me more fully who He made me to be and bring me into the fullness of it. I am taking this wonderful class that I am sure I will have more to say about in a later post. Also, the Lord is teaching me about the power and authority we have in prayer. Today, He brought me to 1 John 5:14-15. "And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears use in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked him." What confidence He has given us! I have asked the Lord to give me all of these gifts of humility, joy, etc.., I know it is His desire to give me these good things... and so it is done. Period. What a way to live! Alright, that's all for now. Thanks for reading. Love, me. :)

Roadtrip to Tacoma

I am sitting in one of the many coffee shops in Tacoma next to a friend I just met last night, listening to Coldplay and relishing the fact that I'm in a city full of culture, interesting people, and more than one coffee shop! :) I had promised to write from the road, but I was tired and, honestly, it just wasn't all that interesting to write about. Don't get me wrong... I had a great time on my trip, especially as my wonderful Jackson friends sent me off with multiple cds and cut-out dolls of themselves that I had way too much fun with on the ride. :) I left Sunday morning and made my way to Omaha, NE for the night. I sang along to music and thought over what I was leaving behind... family, friends, familiarity. On Monday, I drove into Idaho and Wyoming. I think this was my prettiest day. At a few points along the way, I would look up and see the sky filled with these silvery birds all flying along in the most delicate, fluid lines. Their underbellies were black, and the ever-flowing contrast with the silver looked like ocean waves rolling and breaking across the sky. It was exquisite! The day went on, and I saw snowy hills turn into icy mountains. As the sun waned, brilliant purples, blues, and yellows outlined the ever-growing mountain ranges all around me, and I pulled over to take some pictures. I stayed the night in Rawlins, WY, and awoke the next day to drive through Utah and into Oregon. 

On this third day, I listened to Paul Washer's sermon on being poor in spirit (Mth 5). God spoke to me and answered questions I had been asking Him. I had been struggling with sin that I just could not shake. I would sincerely try as hard as I could to resist temptation, but I would fall and give in over and over. I had cried out to God that I am a Christian and, therefore, no longer a slave to sin. How was it that I felt enslaved, and that I could not take hold of my desires? Paul Washer defined poverty of spirit as recognizing one's absolute helplessness in even taking a breath apart from God, much less not sinning. He said that praying for this great virtue was a dangerous and serious prayer as God commands our dependency on Him by knocking out every crutch we lean on... family, friends, wealth... whatever. As I prayed through this, I realized that, though I brought my confusion to the Lord, I had not earnestly sought His help in dealing with this sin through time in prayer and scripture. I had been trying my hardest to break away from sin, but that was the problem. I was failing because I am helpless to achieve even the smallest measure of righteousness apart from God. I did not realize I was not leaning on God, but when I look back, I see that I really was only relying on my own strength. Oh, God! I am incapable of not sinning... why is this such a revelation to me! Oh.. because I'm a self-righteous sinner! :) Praise God for His abundant mercy!

I drove on into Oregon where I got a $242 ticket...yikes! I spoke with friends and God and listened to great music. I arrived in Tacoma where my beautiful roommate Brenna welcomed me so sweetly with daffodils in my room and a seafood dinner with her family on the water. I also got to see Craig who I stayed with in Capetown. It was wonderful to see a familiar face. Since I arrived, I've just been settling in, meeting people, and thinking about what it looks like to be poor in spirit. God has been conversing with me and teaching me through His Word as well as the words of others. I am so excited to be here in Tacoma and among this community at Newsong, the church I'll be going to, that passionately loves God and welcomes me as a sister and friend. People have been friendly and helpful, and I'm happy. I know God has brought me here..  I feel secure in His will and so eager to grow into whatever He wants me to be here. He is growing my love for Him and sparking my mind with questions I trust Him to answer. If you're reading this, I'm sure I'll talk to you soon. Love, me. :)

Tacoma!!!

It is a warm, sunshiny Monday afternoon in February, and I am sitting in Starbucks thinking about how much my life has changed in the last two months. If you read my previous posts, you know that God called me to Capetown and worked mightily in me there. Just as He promised, He has continued that work since I have returned home. I wrote previously about how God grounded me for a day in Capetown and clearly spoke to me about where He wanted me to go. As most of you know by now, God spoke to me and told me to move to Tacoma, Washington. I had heard about Newsong, a church in Tacoma that has strong ties to Christ Church in Capetown, while I was staying with the Stewarts, and I met Jaime and Melisa, members of Newsong, as well. When I sought God on where He wanted me in the coming months, He told me He wanted me in Tacoma. He said it so clearly that I questioned Him and asked if that was His voice or mine so loud in my head. He said, "you asked, and I answered." I then prayed for confirmation. As I prayed throughout the following days, God told me that He had settled this with me and led me to pray over other things. When I got back to the states, I was waiting in the Chicago airport for my flight to Memphis, and nursing recruiters called. I told them that whoever could get me to Tacoma could hire me. Over the next several days, recruiters called me saying there were no positions open in Tacoma and recommended other areas. I insisted on Tacoma, and began to question God on it. God said, "sit back and watch me work".. those very words. :) On February 5, a devastating tornado hit my community and destroyed Union University's dorms. My brother was in the dorms at the time, and that night was crazy and terrible. The next day, after a sleepless night, I was getting ready to go to bed around noon as I worked that evening. Just as I laid down, my recruiter called me asking if she could send my profile to a hospital in Olympia, just 30 minutes outside of Tacoma. She warned me not to get my hopes up as my start date was too late to be appealing to most managers. At 3pm, I awoke to take a phone call from the manager in Olympia. I was groggy and fumbled through the interview, but she offered me the job on the spot. My recruiter was astonished and said she had never heard of it happening that fast. I was overwhelmed, and I logged onto facebook to ask Rene and Melisa, women I met in Capetown, about a living situation in Tacoma. As I waited for the computer to log on, I prayed, "God, if this is what you want me to do, please scream confirmation to me because I have to give an answer tonight." Facebook logged on, and I had a message waiting for me from Rene. It basically said, "Chelsea, no pressure but just in case you're interested, two girls in Tacoma are looking for a roommate for the end of February." There is no doubt in mind that God screamed at me through that message. God has given me an absolute peace about my move and has taken care of so many details already... right down to my furniture. He is so thoughtful! :) I am going to be living with Bryan and Erika, two women I heard so much about in Capetown who have reputations of walking so closely with God. While I was in Capetown, Rene and Melisa had even mentioned how wonderful it would be if I could somehow live with these ladies. I am admittedly nervous about the 5-day cross-country road trip I am taking alone, and I am sad and overwhelmed about leaving my family, friends, and everything I know. At the same time, I am so excited to be walking into such a strong community of believers, and I am even more excited to be holding God's hand as He leads me where He wants me to go. I am going to try to continue this blog throughout my travels if you are at all interested in my somewhat long-winded reflections. :) Praise the Lord for His mercy and loving attention, those who know me well certainly know I don't deserve it. I'll write from the road.... :)~ 

Monday

It is Monday evening and my last night in South Africa. I fly out at 7pm tomorrow and will arrive in Memphis at 2pm on Wednesday. I really feel like I am leaving at the perfect time. I'm glad I have some time tomorrow, but I am also glad I am leaving tomorrow. Yesterday, Sunday, Christy and I went to Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned. It was a hot, windy day, and the tour of the island was interesting and thought-provoking. On the ferry ride back to shore, Christy and I were almost napping, feeling the sun bake our skin and the sea spray our face, when the shouts of passengers awakened us in time to see a WHALE!!!!!!!! It was amazing! I have never seen a whale before, and this sucker was so close! It's huge head was out of the water with its mouth wide open for a long time. It went back under and then splashed its great tail before disappearing from view. Thank you Lord. :) I went to church last night, then came back and prayed with Craig and Liesl. 

We asked God to speak to us, and He did! We sought God on my future plans. He gave Liesl and Craig visions affirming me and speaking of the plans and promises He has for me. It was such a sweet time. God spoke clearly to me and spoke through the Stewarts to me. You can ask me about the specifics if you are interested.. it was such a blessing! This morning, I slept in until 10am (yay!) and spent 4 hours at Kirstenbosch. I had a lovely English breakfast and spent wonderful time praying and journaling. God has really opened my eyes to the spiritual battle that has been waging over me this year. I strongly feel that I have been living in the enemy's lies this last year and I have been slowly and subtly absorbing these lies as truth and dying in spirit as a result. My sin has been a consequence of lies I have believed, and I have neglected the Word and prayer and community that would all speak truth into me. I don't know how to put into words what God has actually done for me. I feel like a princess in a fairy tale. My king really did heroically rescue me from the enemy's grasp. He lifted me out of despair and spoke truth into me. He wooed me and spoke His love to me through other people, through His Word, and through His own sweet voice in my heart and head. He brought me to Capetown to be with Him and He showered me with His sweet attention and time. Today, as I walked along the garden paths, there rose in me a righteous anger about the lies that I believed and acknowledged in joy that God has released me from them. God is focusing on teaching and reminding me who I am in Him now. He brought me to a spot in the garden looking up at the mountain, and He spoke to me of my worth and my identity in Him. I spoke aloud to me, and He answered me. He gave me a heart to praise Him, and I sang to Him at the foot of His mountain. My God has brought me so fully into His presence. 

Tonight, I went to a friend's party and said goodbye to some wonderful people I have met here. Tomorrow morning, I am hoping to talk to Liesl about what the bible says about spiritual authority, then I am going to spend a little time at the Waterfront. I will say my goodbyes and begin my long journey home. I am excited to go home. God is telling me to arm myself and guard my weak areas because there is hard spiritual battle ahead. He is also so clearly telling me that He will continue this work He has begun in me and pursue me just as hard in the states as He has been here. I am changed... I am healing... I am living. Praise God! I knew God brought me here to do something in me.. I just wasn't sure what. He accomplished more in me than I could have imagined, and He has promised to continue. Thanks for reading... I don't know if I will continue this or not. I will see those of you in Tennessee soon. Love, me. :)  

A hot Saturday in Africa

It is Saturday evening, and the Stewarts have all just gone out for the night. I enjoying some tea and listening to the hot wind blowing through the fruit trees outside. Thursday was a busy, wonderful day. Elizabeth Clack, whom I love, took the day off work to show me around the peninsula of South Africa. We started at 9am and went to Fish Hoek, a beach I went to the first week I was here, and ate some wonderful almond crescents along with our tea. We walked along the beachfront shops, and I bought some fun shoes and jewelry. Next we drove to Boulders, a beach with freezing cold water, huge rock formations (hence the name), and .. wait for it.... PENGUINS!!! It was amazing! I took gads of pictures (yes I used that word) :)! The penguins were all around and walked and swam right up to people. The wind was crazy, so we got berated with sand, but it was so much fun! After hanging out with the penguins for a while, we drove to Cape Point, which looks like the southern most point of Africa, but there is actually one point farther south. We ate at a restaurant overlooking the shimmering sea and mountain. I tried ostrich for the first time... very good (Angela, are you proud?) ;)! Elizabeth and I then climbed the stairs to the lighthouse that looks out into the endless ocean where you feel like you've come to the end of the world. Let me tell you, climbing those stairs was no easy task as the wind was seriously gale-force. We held onto the railing, braced ourselves, and I literally got knocked off my feet several times. My ponytail also slapped me in the face like a ton of bricks... what an adventure! :) After surviving the journey without being swept out to sea, we drove all around the mountain looking for baboons, buck, and zebra. Unfortunately, we did not see a thing, but the view was beautiful and the conversation was wonderful. Elizabeth is a fascinating woman who has fostered an intimate relationship with God since she was 13. God has used her in powerful ways throughout her life, and her stories are incredible... a social worker in South Africa.. wow! We drove along the coast to Chapman's peak, an incredibly beautiful drive sandwiched in between the steep mountain face and the sea. We stopped along the way to take in the view and let the powerful wind cool us down. We drove into little towns to see peaceful, white-sand beaches with sail-surfers propelling themselves off waves and into the air. We made our way back up the coast along Hout Bay and finally got home around 6pm. It was a peaceful day full of the Lord's beauty. 

Thursday night, I went to hear Melissa, an American girl visiting from Tacoma, speak on significance. She spoke to a group of women and confronted the lie that creeps into our heads about our significance in big and small things. She reminded us that God wants to give us the desires of our hearts because we are His beloved daughters and masterpieces. She encouraged us to ask our Father for big things and for our deep desires because He wants to satisfy those desires and give us abundant life. I realized I do not ask God to do very much at all. I ask for little things and still act as if I have to figure things out for myself. When I think over my life, I can honestly say that God has been faithful to meet me every time I have prayed to Him and has proven to me that He can satisfy every desire I have brought before Him. What would happen if I dug inside my heart, found my deepest desires, and brought them before God? What would happen if I dared to have big dreams and big desires and ask God to fulfill them? I am not saying that God will give me everything I want, but I do know that He will give me every good thing I want, and my faith with grow as I ask and I watch Him answer. Man.. prayer is huge!

On Friday morning, Liesl, Vivian, and I went to school to watch Eliza win a swimming competition. The girls and I then went downtown to shop. :) I spent some time in Green Market Square, an area downtown where dozens of vendors set up their booth full of African wares. The market is colorful and loud and full of pushy vendors saying, "Lady, lady, come and see... try this on.. I will give you a good price.".. it was a fun experience. We had lunch at Nando's, a nice little fast food restaurant, and left. Liesl dropped me off at Rhodes Memorial, a large green area on the side of the mountain with a monument I remember from my childhood. I ate ice cream as the day was very hot, and I sat against a column and read through Nehemiah. As I was reading, photographers set up their equipment and conducted a photoshoot of some model astride one of the lion sculptures at the monument.. it was funny to watch her pose. While they were on break, I asked a photographer to take a picture for me.. he was friendly, and we talked about the time he spent in Miami and the time his camera was stolen as well. I like the picture he took... you'll see it on facebook. Friday night, I went with a group of women to Menenberg's, a nice restaurant on the waterfront with live jazz music. The music was amazing, and I had lamb chops for the first time... yum (again, Angela.. be proud) ;)! We had a lovely time and walked along the lively waterfront after dinner to enjoy some ice cream. 

This morning, Christy, a girl my age from Capetown, and I went to Camp's Bay Beach. The African sun was beating down on us, so the freezing cold water was wonderful and refreshing. We jumped through the waves and basked in the sun and talked about guys... perfect beach day! ;) I am now at the house, freshly showered and awaiting a call to possibly go out to dinner with some people tonight. Otherwise, I'm going to enjoy a quiet evening in and rest up for Robben Island in the morning. I am doing well, enjoying my time, and looking forward to seeing friends and family soon. That's all for now. :)

Wednesday

Well, my little, annoying cold has now become a full-fledged sore-throat, stuffy nose, fever cold... boo! It's really my fault though... I traded an amazing night for a sick day... completely worth it! Last night, I went up the cable cars to Table Mountain with three other girls. Two days before we went up, the cable cars had broken down and stranded 900 people atop the mountain for the night... that did not happen to us, but I think it would have been fun. :) I don't know how to describe the view from the top of this mountain... you may just have to wait for the pictures. We walked all around it, then settled into a spot to watch the sunset and eat our picnic of bread, cheese, and wine. The sun set over purple mountains and a shimmering sea in all its pinks and purples. It was hard to look away. When I did manage to turn my head for a moment, my eyes fell upon a breath-taking scene. The full moon was rising in all its glory. It was enormous and seemed only just about the level with the mountain. My head turned to take in each rivaling site, and we eventually walked to the other side of the mountain to an overhanging rock to sit in awe. The moon hung over the city lights of Capetown. They call the view of the lights "the jewelry box." The diamond-like sparkle of the city bowl has earned its name. The wind was constant and cold, but the wine and the view swept every thought of it from my mind. We missed the last cable car that went down the mountain at 930, so we ended up riding down with the mountain employees. As we rode down, savoring every moment of the magnificent view, the African employees erupted into song. The whole cable car sang the South African national anthem with all their heart.. it was amazing! The girls and I were energized from the laughter and joy of the mountain, so we headed off to Long Street, the equivalent of South Beach or Beale Street. We went to have hot chocolate, but the music from the bars and restaurants drew us in. We ended up dancing the night away in any venue where the music caught our fancy... it was a blast! I got back to the house around 1am and woke up at 6am to go to the Warehouse with Craig.

The Warehouse was a wonderful experience. Craig directed the staff to Nehemiah 4 for their prayer time, and we separated to spend some time with that Word and with God. The verse dealt with the Israelites rebuilding a wall and their enemies mocking them and threatening attack. The Israelites prayed and armed themselves so as to be ready to defend themselves while carrying on their work. God spoke to me about what He is rebuilding and building new in my life. He reminded me that I have an enemy who desires to steal from, kill, and destroy me, and I must arm myself with prayer and the Word. He showed me that I must fortify my weak points where I may be tempted to sin or believe lies, and He helped me identify lies I have believed this year. My enemy mocks me as God and I rebuild.. I must identify His lying voice in my head so that I may dismiss it and replace it with truth. 

After prayer time, I went to the clothing shelves and made packs of clothes for women. It was difficult and wonderful. The idea was to pick a piece of clothing, then choose some nice clothes, pants, t-shirts, etc. to fit the same woman. I was told to imagine a woman and shop for her. I tried to match styles and sizes to the woman in my head. It was a daunting task, but I, as well as the others who worked with me, prayed through the work. I prayed for direction in what clothes to select and for the woman who would be wearing them. I really enjoyed the experience. Unfortunately, my excursions last night set me up to be miserable today, so I caught an early ride home and took a nap. The Stewarts and I went out for pizza tonight, and I am now ready for bed at 9pm. I'm looking forward to talking with you and seeing some of you soon... that's all for now folks. :)

Tuesday afternoon

I am sitting in the Stewarts' living room watching little Vivian run as fast as she can and launch herself onto the couch... whoops.. as I was typing, she launched herself head first right onto the ground... I got to play nurse for a moment (meaning rocking her and applying ice). :) Yesterday, I was supposed to go to Boulders, a beach where penguins live. I felt sick yesterday morning, so I ended up just spending the day at the house. I was worried I would feel like I was missing out, but, as has happened several times throughout this trip, God reminded me that He brought me here to spend time with Him... and everything else is just bonus. :) I spend some good time with Him in the Stewarts' beautiful garden with Ruby, their extremely affectionate boxer, at my feet. I sought His direction on what to do and where to go in the next few months. I asked Him to speak loudly because I was not hearing Him speak. He spoke, and I asked Him, "Lord, how do I know this is you and not my own thoughts." He said, "You asked, and I answered." God is patient with me. :) I am seeking confirmation now and intend to explore what I heard Him say, so I'll fill you in on the details when I am ready. Last night, I went with two girls to a Mexican restaurant with a fun atmosphere. We talked about everything from the genocide and healing in Rwanda (heart-breaking) to some of my disgusting, funny (at least in my mind) nursing stories. It was fun.

This morning, I spent some time with Judy Everingham, a family friend who knew my parents well when we lived in Capetown. It was very good to talk to her about the time she spend with my mom and dad. We walked in the gardens of Kirstenbosch and went into Kayaletcha (sp?), the township where I was robbed. She showed me around Learn to Earn, a center for local people to learn sewing, carpentry, and computer skills enabling them to find work in Capetown. I bought some beautiful crafts and enjoyed my time. Tonight, I am going up the mountain on the cable cars to see the full moon with some girls. I have a cold, but it's not bad.. just annoying. I hope this finds you well. Love, me. :)

0846719190

 

A few better days :)

Hello people. :) It is Sunday night, and I am sleepy! I wanted to fill you in on what I've been doing the last few days. Friday morning, I went to see a trauma counselor that the Warehouse people (and my mom) insisted we all see. It was good. She told me to stop telling myself what happened wasn't a big deal.. that was helpful. :) I just took it easy the rest of the day, then went to a dinner party with the Stewart family at a friend's house. It was fun.. good conversation and interesting people. Saturday was wonderful. I joined another visiting American girl and her hostess, Charlene, on a wine tour. We drove to two vineyards for wine and cheese tasting. It was lovely! :) We then had 20 minutes to change and pack, and we were whisked away to Table Mountain to go hiking. A group of about ten young adults went with us. We hiked up Skeleton's Gorge and let me tell you, the climb has earned its name. It was steep and scary and beautiful! Part of the climb consisted of steep, rocky stairs (picture the third Lord of the Rings when they're climbing up the mountain to where the spider lives), part involved climbing up the rocks of a steep waterfall, and part was just a mountain path. We were planning to go down on a cable car, but the famous mist covered the mountain, and the cable cars stopped running. (Let me just say, after the three hour, strenuous hike up, my heart sunk upon realizing we had yet to walk down... but it was great.) We found a rock and ate our dinner of bread and cheese while trying not to get blown over by the fierce wind. The climb down Nursery Path was actually scarier for me than the climb up. I managed to stay near the front going up, but was definately dead last going down. It freaked me out! I was extremely proud of all of us once we reached the bottom and looked up. We then took our sweaty selves out for tea and dessert, went home, and fell into bed. 

Today, I went to Clifton Beach with Anya, the American girl who is visiting here as well. It was beautiful. The weather was hot, and the water was FREEZING! We actually enjoyed being in the wavy water once we couldn't feel our bodies anymore. :) Tonight, I went to Christ Church again, and the sermon pointed me toward prayer again... about praying to know how to pray for someone... praying to know how to serve someone... praying to recognize your spiritual gifts and using them to the fullest for God's glory. I also thought about praying for a Paul... someone to disciple me in a life on life kind of way. That's all for now... I'm going to bed.

Love you family and friends!

A true African adventure...

Ok family and friends... settle in for a real African adventure. It is Thursday evening, and I am sitting safe and sound in the Stewarts' house. The children are sleeping on pallets in the living room, and I am watching them as Craig and Liesl have gone out to dinner. I will warn you, this will be long.. but exciting (at least towards the end). I spent my Wednesday shopping in a mall called cavendish and spending some time reading in cafes. I know what you're thinking. What are you doig roaming through a mall when you are in the most beautiful place on earth?!! I understand... but it was quite a rainy day, and the Stewarts were busy getting the kids off for their first day of school, so it seemed the best place for me to go and spend some time alone. I enjoyed the day. Wednesday night, Elizabeth Clack, the social worker who I met in Tennessee, picked me up for dinner. We had a lovely meal at a pizza place, then went driving downtown to see the Christmas lights in the streets. Elizabeth is amazing! As we were walking to the restaurant, we approached a homeless woman sitting by the road. Elizabeth was well-acquainted with this woman and gave her some money while asking her how she was doing. Elizabeth has made it her life's work to tend the forgotten and helpless people of her world. We ended up back at her flat where I poured out my heart about my struggles this year and the way in which God used her to speak to me and love me back to Him. We talked and prayed, and I felt God very near as we spoke to Him. 

(I have been thinking a lot about prayer and community. Prayer is such a huge part of the community here. Someone told that people confess their sins to one another and pray together asking God to point out their sin, so that then they, as a community, can pray for healing and repentance and forgiveness. She spoke of the deep intimacy this sharing develops among the believers. This openness leaves no room for shame or pride as people know each other's sins and are able to share their struggles and come alongside one another in prayer and repentance.) 

Ok.. back from the sidetrack...I slept over at Elizabeth's house and awoke early this morning to go to the Warehouse with her. The Warehouse is the Christian relief organization Craig and Elizabeth started that works to enable local churches meet the needs of the community. Many people were at the Warehouse, and we split into groups to pray. Two young British people, and Australian young woman, and a few other people were in my group with Elizabeth. We all prayed for different needs among us, and God led someone to read from Romans 8 speaking that we are more than conquerers in Christ. They also read from Isaiah saying that there is no need to fear and that the Lord upholds us with His righteous right hand. We packed up some supplies and drove off to the townships.

Our first stop was Fikalela (horrendous spelling), a home for children 0-8 years old who have HIV/Aids or come from at-risk circumstances. I spoke to the sole nurse responsible for the 35+ kids with enormous medical needs. She administers antiretrovirals, which have an extremely demanding and specific schedule, to the infected children, and tends to the others' needs as well. She spoke of the many children they lost in 2002 when they first started the home and lacked the necessary drugs and resources. She wept. She carries such a burden and responsibility for those lost little children. I have felt burdened for her all day and plan to spend some time praying for Jean. What a heavy weight to carry in one's heart and what important work she does. When we saw the children, they flocked to us and wouldn't let us go. We spent some time playing with the children, and it was joyful and heart-breaking. I could see the tell-tale sores on some of their little bodies and the flies swarmed round their snotty noses as they laughed and basked in our attention. It was very hard to leave.

We next drove to Bakamulela (I again mutilated the name), a home for children of all ages where Elton John had visited the previous Monday. Alongside the home sat a respite care home for adult Aids patients who had been released from the hospital, but were too weak to return hoe or had no one to care for them. I asked a lot of questions and stood in awe of the nurse who administered their medications and assessed each patient daily. We were then going to pray around a preschool where people had been harassing the teachers, but we stopped to say hello to some children Elizabeth knew as she saw them outside their house on the street...

There were five of us in the car with the front two windows rolled down. Elizabeth was talking to an 8-year old boy out of the right side of the car. As she was talking, I noticed a young man in his 20\s notice us, and I felt uneasy, but dismissed it as a newcomers paranoia. We were, after all, in an extremely poor area with shacks all around, but Elizabeth had worked in the area of 18 years without incident. A minute later, a man approached Elizabeth's window laughing. I thought Elizabeth knew him. He took the keys out of the ignition, and reached back to grab the camera from the girl sitting to my right. I instinctively brushed away his hand, not realizing what was going on. Elizabeth said "don't fight." I looked around and realized three men had surrounded us... the one on the right and two on the left. IOne man grabbed Elizabeth's bag from the car, and she sternly scolded him saying, "You will give me back my bag!" the man took the purse from her bag and threw the back back inside with the look of a boy who had been caught by his school teacher. Meanwhile, the third man had reached through the front window and unlocked the back door. The girl to my left locked it back, but the man unlocked it again and opened the door. I had my camera bag around my neck and he reached for it. I was extremely fast and confusing and I think my hands just went to the bag. He leaned in and held a very, very large knife or machete close to my arm and said, "I will stick you." I think I said, "Elizabeth" as I struggled to get the bag off my neck quickly. She said, "You will not stick anyone" and "give it to him." I game him the bag. As everything was happening, Elizabeth was saying, "we are Christians, I am a social worker" in a very righteously indignant tone... she was authoritative and amazing! The young men then just walked casually away knowing that no one would come after them. Elizabeth shouted, "I would have give you money," and "God will punish you." One man shouted back, "we are hungry." Elizabeth said the man at her door had opened his jacket and pointed to his gun when he first approached her. This all happened directly in front of a high school at 2pm in broad daylight as the children we had been talking to looked on. Not one of us has a scratch on us... but this is daily life in the townships. We could leave, but over a million people have to stay and live there.

We went to the police station and spent hours waiting while Elizabeth filled out a report. The family who lived in the house where we had stopped was associated with the Warehouse, and Elizabeth knew them quite well. They came to be with us at the police station. After a few hours, we all prayed together and decided to drop the charges. There was concern that the children, who witnessed everything, would be questioned and asked to identify suspects, and even possibly be harassed by the criminals. They stole my camera bag containing my new Nikon camera and lens as well as my canon digital camera. Though I asked about safety before taking them with me, I feel foolish for bringing them into this poor community. I am not, however, grieving their loss as I knew that was a possibility in bringing them here. Their loss is also nothing compared to the fact that no one was harmed. I am very shaken up, and honestly think I just need to cry. I have been around people all day and am sure I'll break down when I call my mom to tell her. I really felt that the man was quite ready to stab me, and I believed for a moment that that knife was going to go through my arm or my chest. The Warehouse people were quick to come be with us, and we all felt the peace God gave us through their prayers before they even told us they have been praying for us. I felt God tell me that there was never even a chance that any harm would have come to me or those with me.. He was sovereign at every moment. He also told me those cameras were His property anyway. I am still processing what I'm feeling, but God is ever-present and ever-pursuing me. We remembered the verses God had given us this morning in Isaiah and Romans, and Elizabeth said that the reminder of being more than conquerers had prepared her to react in the bold manner she did. The Stewarts are looking after me, and I'm alright. I'll post this long entry next time I can get on-line. Thanks to those who have been praying for me and for my protection. Please join me in praying that God will use this event for His glory and that He would redeem for His purposes a situation that Satan intended for evil. :)