It's been a while...

Well I am back in my favorite coffee shop in Tacoma enjoying a Roiboos latte and taking a break from orientation paperwork for my new travel RN position. I have been many places and many things have happened in my life since I last wrote to you. Here are the highlights... I spent a long 4th of July weekend at the beach in Florida with my oldest girl friends. We spent our days and nights catching up, relaxing, and doubling over in laughter. What a refreshing time! After Captiva, I came back to Alexandria, VA and continued to help Angela and Ryan prepare for baby. We had some memorable experiences with baby showers, nesting, and air conditioner failures in the 100 degree weather the night before Angela gave birth. Mom and I then had the privilege of helping Angela (in very small ways) as she endured her 24 hr labor. Her husband was the real hero of the night(well, besides Angela of course ;)) as he coached my sister with a lot of patience and without a wink of sleep. Labor is hard work! We were well-rewarded for our vigil as Elijah popped into the world, blond hair and all. What a beautiful child! I love him so much! It was such a joy to hold him and sing to him and pray and pray over him. I also experienced the "work" of having a baby firsthand. I had no idea! :) Three weeks after his birth, Angela and I flew to TN with Eli.. he was such a good little boy! I spent a week in TN visiting with friends and family. I was so happy to see my brother again, and it was lovely to pop into my "other life" for a while. I also got to scream in celebration with my beautiful friends, Alana and Hector, as they found out they are pregnant... such a blessing to be part of that! And now I am back in Tacoma. I'm just starting to work at a new hospital and praying for favor and opportunities to share Christ. I'm really praying that God would just instill a deep, supernatural love in me for those He wants me to connect with. My workplace has always been my natural ministry, and the Lord has been so faithful and kind in making it a joyful, easy thing for me to love the people and share Christ with them in ordinary conversation and acts of service. I went to my first day of orientation today, and, already, God is fulfilling my desires. I easily entered into conversation with the girl He divinely appointed to sit next to me, and I got to share parts of my testimony with her.. because she asked!!! She works on the floor I will be spending much of my time on, and I am looking forward to witnessing Christ's fervent pursuit of her. What a breath-taking thing to see! I think of Jesus' aggressive pursuit of some particular co-workers that I still hold very close to my heart, and I hope for them. There were times when the Spirit's work in their lives was almost tangibly evident... it makes me wonder if they will have any choice but to respond to Him or if they will have to answer to this passionate pursuer on judgment day.. I teeter on a doctrinal fence on that one. God is gracious in giving me such a burden for them. I have wondered about ministry outside of work. People have asked me where my passion lies... with what group of people. I have to answer that I don't know. I love the people I come across. I would love to jump into some ministry here in Tacoma, but I don't know where I would have something to offer. I'm asking God about it. :) I'm also asking God about my living situation. I'm staying in a friend's house until she gets married in two and half weeks, and then I'm moving to... :) I am confident God will simply place me where He wants me, so I'll let you know where I end up. So I guess that's all for now.. nothing too interesting. I miss my nephew.. it's good to be back in Tacoma.. and the Lord is still leading me on this wild, on-going adventure He began in January.. or really long before. love, me :)

Washington DC

So here I am all snuggled into bed in my sister's guest room. I've been here for a week, and I think I am just now settling into this new phase of my ever-changing life. A couple things have changed since my last post. For one thing, I'm not working while I'm here. I had a job all lined up, then I thought maybe I should ask the Lord if He even wanted me to work this summer. He said no, confirmed His Word through a friend, and also gave me peace about the decision (which was kind of a hard one to swallow as I enjoy working and feel lazy when I'm not). Now that I'm here, I see that my time with my sister is a treasure, and I would have been anxious away at work with my hugely pregnant sister at home about to pop. By the way, for those of you who haven't seen my facebook pictures, my big sister is BEAUTIFUL!!! She is due in a couple weeks, but we have been asking the Lord to make it earlier, and I just don't know how much bigger that baby boy can get! :) It has been such an unspeakable joy to be here with my sister and feel my little nephew kicking around in her belly. My sister is a lovely little pregnant person. She is joyful and sweet, and we have laughed until we both cried. I loved my time in Tacoma, and the people there welcomed me into their community with open arms, but there is just something about being around family, the people who have known me since there was a me, that reminds me who I am. I kinda feel like I'm letting out a deep breath. The first few days here were busy with going to work with Angela, touring the national mall with a friend from Tacoma, and throwing Angela's baby shower. Since then, Ang and I have concentrated on getting the house ready for Elijah. She is entering her nesting phase, which means she feels every nook and cranny of this house needs tending to. :) I'm glad I'm able to be here so my pregnant sister doesn't go into labor from pushing a vacuum around.. not that my brother-in-law would let that happen.. he's been a sweet husband to her, and it's so fun to see him with his mouth squished up against her belly asking his son to kick his nose. :) 

I went to Starbucks this afternoon and spent some time with the Lord while Angela was getting a massage (a gift from Ryan). :) I asked Him to meet me despite all the distraction bustling around me, and He did. I opened to Hosea 14, and He spoke to me of the idols that I run to, especially as I move from place to place. They are pretty, dead statues that I desperately fashion with my own hands because somewhere in me I don't believe my God. He says He is enough, and I say, "I know, but I made this just in case." My King tells my heart what my head knows.. that the sparkly idols I worship with my thoughts and strivings will fail me every time. His sure, strong voice speaks, "I am enough," and my tired hands fall limp at my side and rest in His. I wonder how long it will take me to learn that lesson... I think I'm learning it in parts. My God is a gentleman... He will not overwhelm me. He is my dad... He will not let me go astray.

It's late, so I'll go now. I'm leaving for Miami tomorrow to spend a few days on the beach with my girlfriends who I've known since 8th grade. They're like family, and I'm looking forward to laughing hard and catching up. Jesus, thank you for friends! Goodnight. :)~

Monday night

I am, once again, writing from work. I promise I actually work while I’m working, but sometimes I don’t. So I’ve decided to move back to Tacoma in August. Most anyone who would be reading this knows that by now, but I just thought I’d include that anyway. I feel just as confident and peaceful about this decision as I did when the Lord told me to move here Himself. My life is kind of unsettled right now, and sometimes I feel like my head is full of little doors with a little chelsea screaming behind each one (that probably sounds awful, but it’s a funny image for me). Little chelseas sit there worrying and wondering about the details of my life, and every now and then I have to knock on the doors and tell them to please quiet down. In two weeks, I’m moving out of my cute little house into another house which, I’m sure, will be just as cute. My sweet roommate is moving away to Africa, and I am finishing up my contract in Olympia. God has given me an earnest love for my co-workers, and I am sincerely sad to be leaving them.. I feel like I’m abandoning my ministry (but I know I’m being obedient). In three weeks, I will move to DC to be with Angela and start a new job I have not completely pinned down yet. Then I will be an aunt… hooray! In August, I will drive Ang and Eli to TN and hang there for a couple of weeks until I fly back to WA to start work on August 18. I have not, however, decided where I will be working yet. There are a few other big changes going on in my life, but these are the ones I feel like putting on the internet. So each little chelsea is wanting to make sure her particular concern is taken care of and settled, but I think the Lord is peeping His sweet head into each room asking the mini-mes, “Do you trust me?” And though every now and then, a stray little scamp lets out an anxious scream, my over-arching chelsea spirit looks back and remembers that God has come through every time and responds with a resounding yes. So that’s where I am right now. Oh, I also wanted to tell you that God has been particularly sweet to me lately in concerning Himself with the trivial desires of my heart. There have been many ways He has done this, one being that He sent me out dancing twice in one weekend. I serve a fun God! My mom also came to visit me this weekend and got to see this beautiful place where I live, experience Newsong, and meet some friends. It was good for my heart to see her and for her to see me here. Ok, that’s all…buh-bye. :)~

Sunday night.. or Monday morning

I'm sitting at work right.. it's usually quiet for 4 hours after midnight, barring any crazy, poopy, dying, attention-seeking, or just very sick patients. I'm writing for the third time today because I'm on the verge of making a decision I've been trying to make for months. Friday night, I went to my first baseball game with a friend. It was so fun! The weather was crisp, but clear, and the whole experience was new and exciting... even if the Mariner's did lose...pitifully (sorry Shane) :)~.

I wrote previously about how God told me very directly to come to Tacoma. I have been waiting on Him to tell me where to go next ever since I moved here. I am going to DC to be with my sister for the month of July to welcome Elijah James, my beautiful nephew, into the world. I have been believing that God would clearly tell me where He wants me to go in August. I think God totally spoke to me about this through a friend on Friday. A friend told me about his experience in which the Lord had told him to go overseas very clearly, but when he was trying to decide whether to come back, he didn't hear anything from God. Eventually, God just told him he needed to make a decision and have faith that He would bless it. My friend, by way of explanation, imagined that God had a sort of "faith checklist." He says, "what will chelsea do when I tell her to go? She goes.. check. Now what will she do when I don't tell her anything? Will she trust me?" This totally spoke to me as I realized my great fear has been that I will make the "wrong" decision. Some people have said it took great faith for me to come here on God's command.. honestly, it was really easy and didn't even feel like faith because God told me to go so clearly, so it wasn't scary or uncertain at all. It makes so much sense to me that God would seek to grow my faith by asking me to make my own choice and trusting that He will be with me in whatever decision I make and will not let me stray from His will since I am earnestly seeking to obey Him. God gave me a brain and His Spirit which gives me wisdom, so I can make this decision. It pleases the Lord for me to inquire after His will, but after asking Him about it this weekend, I believe my step of obedience will come in weighing my options, making a decision, and trusting the Lord in His silence. I think I have decided what to do in August, and I feel peaceful about it... which I think is a way God confirms His will.. but I am still waiting to work out the particulars, so I won't tell you what I'm thinking just yet. I was absolutely set on God doing one thing, and He graciously let me know that He's doing another.. even in His silence, He speaks. :) Ok.. so I think that's enough for a while.. thanks for caring about what's going on with me and for reading this so I don't have to tell the same story over and over again. Love, me. :)

My week...

Last Friday night, a team from the International House of Prayer (IHOP) came to Newsong and led a two-day conference. Worship was incredible, and the Holy Spirit's presence was undeniable as the packed-out sanctuary entered the Lord's throne room and sang to Jesus. Okay, so this might sound cheesy, but you're my friend, so I'll be vulnerable. Sometimes when I worship and the Spirit quiets every distraction and fills my heart and focuses my eyes solely on Jesus, I feel like I'm worshipping with the saints. I see this picture of the Lord on His throne, and I am surrounded by the multitudes of believers in Heaven worshipping our King. And though I only feel like this when my focus is solely on Christ, it is in these times when I feel closest to dad. Anyway, one of the speakers spoke on the Song of Songs. I have never studied this book, and I have only read it a few times and not in years. She spoke of the bride as the church and the believer and the lover as Christ. The story tells of the bride's journey from immature love that is self-focused to a mature love that focuses on her lover. Christ calls His bride beautiful and says that He can hardly stand her gaze because it so overwhelms Him. Christ's heart is moved deeply and passionately by His beloved's voice, her gaze, and even her immature love. The Lord pierced my heart! The heart of Christ is passionately moved by my weak love! The Jesus that I nailed to the cross hushes all of Heaven and leans in when I pray just waiting to hear what His beloved will ask because He longs to grant my request. My Lord's heart melts when I turn my ever-roaming eyes towards Him. He calls me His sister and His bride. He knows all that I am.. all the darkness and falseness and infidelity that lurks within my heart... and He loves me to death! I wrote earlier that I thought the Lord brought me here to teach me about who I am and my worth.... I now know He brought me here to continue this great lesson about His overwhelming love for me.. and my identity and worth flows naturally from this truth that digs down deep into my heart and spreads out into every dark space. Before Africa, God said, "She must know how deeply and desperately I love her." My Jesus is revealing His love by layers.. I wonder if He only takes me by steps so as not to overwhelm my weak heart. I love my sweet God, but the breathless, crazy, too wonderful for words truth is that my God loves me! Read and study Song of Songs... and if you dare, simply ask Jesus, "Do you love me?" He will answer you! :) K... going to work... love you friends and family!

A Sunday in May

So it's Sunday afternoon, and I am enjoying some daylight before shutting myself up in a hospital just in time to miss the sunset. I do, however, usually find some excuse to tend to a patient on the west side of the unit just at sunrise. The rooms have large, clear windows looking out onto a veritable forest of evergreens in the parking lot. As the sun peeks over the tree-line, a chain of mountains becomes visible in the distance... the view is breath-taking! This glorious picture of the Lord's handiwork has encouraged me after several hard nights, and seldom fails to bring a smile to my poor patients. Thursday night before last, the Lord blessed me with a spontaneous and magnificent view of His sunrise. A fellow night nurse from Newsong called me up at 10pm and invited me to make the 3 hour drive to Mt. St. Helen with her to spend the night and watch the sunrise. What a wonderful surprise! It reminded me of some nights at FSU when we would randomly decide to go spend the night at St. Augustine beach... good memories. My friend and I drove up and up until the snow encroached so on the road that we could drive no farther. In the dark, we could only make out shadows of the trees partially buried in the glowing white snow. We talked and huddled under our blankets and watched as the stars shone just enough light so that we could make out the towering volcano in front of us. As the sun rose, the mountain came into full view. The horizon in all its brilliant colors reflected against the snow-white mountain with its hollowed-out center where the volcano blew its top off in the 80's. We watched the pink glow upon the white on the silent mountain, and we were awed and still. Driving down the mountain, we saw elk amidst trees of every hue of green and heard their clumsy song.  What a glorious experience.. the Lord knows my heart and how to make it happy. :)

Erika and I in Seattle
Brynna, Erika, and I after church in Tacoma
The University of Washington campus in Seattle
Posing in front of the Seattle gum wall with a honey stick in my mouth. :)